I think that it is important to share how this blog really got started.
Well, I am a slight internalizer, I appear strong to those who do not know me "well" and only very close people knew what Brinton and I were going through so I was able to vent to some. But know one really knows what this feels like. (at least that is how I felt)
So this month after a series of rigorous acupuncture appointments and all signs and symptoms pointing to pregnancy I was very excited. Then on Friday morning, I started a very heavy period and lost it. I was crying so hard I wasn't even able to go to work, finally when I felt composed I went to work. Upon arriving to work my boss asked me how I was doing and I lost it, started bawling again. And, those that know me know I do not cry often, and I have a strict "no crying at work policy". So when I began crying I was all apologies to her (thankfully she is awesome and the most understanding boss anyone could ask for) and after 5-10 minutes of not breathing and crying uncontrollably I gained controlled and she told me I could leave but I refused, I thought why? whats the point there is nothing I can do about this. So I worked away and then when I woke up on Saturday morning I told my husband I was going to start a blog and call it Mommy Bound. He said, "OK, how long will it take you to do this.." (he was like yeah right) and that night I posted :)
Since then, many of you "anonymous" readers have sent me such encouraging messages on facebook... I will not name names but I want to share some feelings.... because these statements are so true... and I will be the first to admit lately, I have been Christmas shopping and glaring at pregnant people, and women with small babies. It is not that I am not happy for you.. I just wonder why you and not me. Would you be as good as mom as I would be? Did you even want to be pregnant? and do you even like your kid? I know it seems sick and twisted.. but the famous saying is, "you never know what it is like until you walk in their shoes".
So here are some of the wonderfully delightful words of wisdom from my fellow "young" non-preggos :)
~I feel pain about this very same in a real and sobering way. I won’t expect your experience is the same as mine, but I want you to know that I am here as a fellow non-pregger to listen anytime you would like to emotionally rant about idiot doctors, insensitive people offering their “solutions”, or the unfairness of the human body. (I think this perfectly captures what I want this blog to become and be about)
~Its such a difficult thing to go through, I find I have those moments of when I am strong, and so many moments when I am weak and on edge. (Wow, if you are a "tryer" I think this is how "we" all feel)
Thank you all for sending me your encouraging words of support and your stories. I encourage you all to post and be followers as well.. I know maybe I am more of an open book then some as this was my response to a message I received.. "Thank you and it is not too personal. I have tried it all.. ovulation tests, and lube to actually help you get preggo... yep it all.. legs in the air, positions.. diet, exercise.. and no DRINKING! this has been one heck of a challenge that is why I am blogging, to vent, to have sanity, and to let people know this is not a walk in the park... when you get on facebook every day and look at everyone's beautiful babies, and guess what I am preggo posts.. it is hard.. and I think this is what we have to do... again, thank you. :) "
Well I will leave you with that.. tomorrow I go to my weekly acupuncture appointment and will blog about what is next for me in my acupuncture treatment! :)
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Reactions...
Wow! I cannot believe how many people read my blog :) very neat! I encourage you all to keep reading, keep commenting, and sharing.. it is very neat and very encouraging.
My husband thought this would be "therapeutic" for me to start this blog so I am going to do my best to keep on keepin on with it. Thanks again to everyone for reading :)
My husband thought this would be "therapeutic" for me to start this blog so I am going to do my best to keep on keepin on with it. Thanks again to everyone for reading :)
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Mommy Bound
So this is my first blog.. how exciting! I have decided to begin blogging about my quest and trial to get pregnant.
For those of you that do not know my husband, Brinton and I have been trying to get pregnant for about a year. It has been one of those things that was not serious at first but then became a chore. Maybe that is why it has been so hard. It is easy for people to always offer their advice to me.. it always happens when you are not trying, just drink and it will happen.. or god will provide for you. Well guess what.. I have tried all and more and I am not so lucky... so now what? Well....
After a year we have not gotten pregnant and have tried every method under the sun. I guess the importance of me blogging about this experience is that out of all my reading and research I have not come across many articles that discuss "young" (and by young I mean under 35) women having trouble getting pregnant. So I would like to share my story, my trial, and my desire to become a mommy.. therefore, I am titling my blog Mommy Bound.. and no matter what happens in my quest and trial I know that one day I will become a Mommy.
I have always known that I have wanted kids. (As silly as it sounds... and yes I know it may sound silly, because I am only 25. Some say I am an old soul, I say I am just aware of what I want :)) Anyway, kids are important to me. I have always wanted to be a Mommy. As I came into adult hood I practiced and responsibly practiced, not getting pregnant. And, when I got married, we decided that we wanted to start a family. I got off birth control and responsibly, went to the doctor and asked for advice.
My doctor told me to begin taking prenatal vitamins and have my Vitamin D level and other testing(s) done. So I did. She told me that after getting off the "pill" to wait 3 months before having unprotected sex to allow your body to become "regular and nourished" after getting off the pill. After testing, everything came back very normal and I was very glad and was hopeful immediately that I would have no trouble getting pregnant. My husband and I began "practicing" as prescribed. The first month after "trying" I was 10 days late.We were both very excited and thought "wow, this is too easy" .... this was only to find out that I later got my period and was not pregnant. My doctor could not say why I was not pregnant but suggested that it could be my body adjusting to getting off the pill. We continued our quest...
After several more months of not getting pregnant I began researching natural methods. I came across an article or research, I cannot remember what.. stating that acupuncture is a very effective natural way to increase your odds of getting pregnant. I immediately looked for a local location and came across a local acupuncturist, and I will say she is simply amazing. I could not be more blessed and appreciative to have found her. I was struggling with a variety of digestive issues, and chronic headaches.. and since beginning acupuncture I have not had any of these problems. I will however, state that the reason I began acupuncture was the hope of getting pregnant, and I am still hopeful that I will achieve pregnancy. But as of now, I have not sooo..... here we are today one year or so give or take a few, later.
In the past few months, I have been very hopeful I would get pregnant, and I have not. My husband and I decided that we would begin testing. I thought since I have been having text book periods, and normal ovulation, that he should get tested first. He did and his results were perfect. YAY... but one year later here we are facing the possibility that something is wrong with me.. and further testing needs to be done.
The reason I am blogging about this is because not only has this been an emotional roller coaster for me from the time between ovulation and getting my period.. but because I think that "20 somethings" do not think about this because we are busy focusing on ourselves, our careers, our relationships, and our future as we have been trained to do. We are also told that we are young and getting pregnant will not be a problem... We are no longer "allowed" to think about getting pregnant and OMG... god for bid we don't. So... what if we don't? What happens when "us" "20 somethings" do not get pregnant... well here I am.. I am here to tell you my personal experience... and here it goes. buckle up.. it may get personal.. it may be girly and graphic... so do not read this unless you either a. care or b. are having the same issues. I invite you to comment, ask questions, and follow my journey. I pray it turns out as me getting pregnant but... this is real life so we are about to get real.... please join and follow my journey I invite anyone to pass this along and join me in becoming, Mommy Bound....
For those of you that do not know my husband, Brinton and I have been trying to get pregnant for about a year. It has been one of those things that was not serious at first but then became a chore. Maybe that is why it has been so hard. It is easy for people to always offer their advice to me.. it always happens when you are not trying, just drink and it will happen.. or god will provide for you. Well guess what.. I have tried all and more and I am not so lucky... so now what? Well....
After a year we have not gotten pregnant and have tried every method under the sun. I guess the importance of me blogging about this experience is that out of all my reading and research I have not come across many articles that discuss "young" (and by young I mean under 35) women having trouble getting pregnant. So I would like to share my story, my trial, and my desire to become a mommy.. therefore, I am titling my blog Mommy Bound.. and no matter what happens in my quest and trial I know that one day I will become a Mommy.
I have always known that I have wanted kids. (As silly as it sounds... and yes I know it may sound silly, because I am only 25. Some say I am an old soul, I say I am just aware of what I want :)) Anyway, kids are important to me. I have always wanted to be a Mommy. As I came into adult hood I practiced and responsibly practiced, not getting pregnant. And, when I got married, we decided that we wanted to start a family. I got off birth control and responsibly, went to the doctor and asked for advice.
My doctor told me to begin taking prenatal vitamins and have my Vitamin D level and other testing(s) done. So I did. She told me that after getting off the "pill" to wait 3 months before having unprotected sex to allow your body to become "regular and nourished" after getting off the pill. After testing, everything came back very normal and I was very glad and was hopeful immediately that I would have no trouble getting pregnant. My husband and I began "practicing" as prescribed. The first month after "trying" I was 10 days late.We were both very excited and thought "wow, this is too easy" .... this was only to find out that I later got my period and was not pregnant. My doctor could not say why I was not pregnant but suggested that it could be my body adjusting to getting off the pill. We continued our quest...
After several more months of not getting pregnant I began researching natural methods. I came across an article or research, I cannot remember what.. stating that acupuncture is a very effective natural way to increase your odds of getting pregnant. I immediately looked for a local location and came across a local acupuncturist, and I will say she is simply amazing. I could not be more blessed and appreciative to have found her. I was struggling with a variety of digestive issues, and chronic headaches.. and since beginning acupuncture I have not had any of these problems. I will however, state that the reason I began acupuncture was the hope of getting pregnant, and I am still hopeful that I will achieve pregnancy. But as of now, I have not sooo..... here we are today one year or so give or take a few, later.
In the past few months, I have been very hopeful I would get pregnant, and I have not. My husband and I decided that we would begin testing. I thought since I have been having text book periods, and normal ovulation, that he should get tested first. He did and his results were perfect. YAY... but one year later here we are facing the possibility that something is wrong with me.. and further testing needs to be done.
The reason I am blogging about this is because not only has this been an emotional roller coaster for me from the time between ovulation and getting my period.. but because I think that "20 somethings" do not think about this because we are busy focusing on ourselves, our careers, our relationships, and our future as we have been trained to do. We are also told that we are young and getting pregnant will not be a problem... We are no longer "allowed" to think about getting pregnant and OMG... god for bid we don't. So... what if we don't? What happens when "us" "20 somethings" do not get pregnant... well here I am.. I am here to tell you my personal experience... and here it goes. buckle up.. it may get personal.. it may be girly and graphic... so do not read this unless you either a. care or b. are having the same issues. I invite you to comment, ask questions, and follow my journey. I pray it turns out as me getting pregnant but... this is real life so we are about to get real.... please join and follow my journey I invite anyone to pass this along and join me in becoming, Mommy Bound....
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