It's Official...

well it's official I am a defective model when it comes to fertility!! Not completely.. though...
I went in this morning for my vaginal ultrasound and blood test results and I was feeling quite anxious but it was all pretty painless... and an answer was found nonetheless.
This is something that is a little scary but is actually an answer along this journey. And, an answer is what I have needed and wanted all along. I am very grateful to have gotten an answer.
Well I won't kill you with the suspense any longer..So here is what is going on with me:
I have an FSH level and an LH level that do not match (and they should match during certain times in a woman's menstrual cycle) meaning I am producing an insulin resistance that is making me have trouble producing a mature dominant follicle during ovulation which is essentially early stages of Polycystic Ovaraian Syndrome (PCOS). Which for me means the following:
I am having a normal menstrual cycle, which is good, and in a normal cycle one egg is released from a dominant follicle - essentially a cyst that bursts to release the egg. After ovulation the follicle remnant is transformed into a progesterone producing corpus luteum, which shrinks and disappears after approximately 12–14 days. In PCOS, there is a so called "follicular arrest", i.e., several follicles develop to a size of 5–7 mm, but not further. (thanks wikipedia for a great definition and copy and paste) and, this is what is happening with me. I am not producing a dominant follicle to produce an egg that can be fertilized. I also, have several cysts in my ovaries (not an alarming amount but several that are not maturing and just kinda hanging out) so, every month I am likely producing an egg but it is one that is essentially like cement and cannot be penetrated by sperm to become fertilized. Well the good news is I guess I could potentially develop a dominant follicle on my own and get pregnant but it could take forever. But the better news is I AM NOT NORMAL.. in fact there is something wrong and it can be treated... SO guess what stupid Dr. who would not test me.. (alot of X-rated language could be inserted here!) I am going to begin taking the next steps in this fertility process...
So officially, as soon as I get my next period I will begin taking Clomid to attempt to develop a healthy follicle to release an egg that can get fertilized. My Doctor made it seem as though this is the best chance for me I have in conceiving and I likely will get pregnant. After 2 months if this does not work I may have to pair my Clomid with taking Met Formin (sp?) to regulate my insulin resistance.
At this point, all we can do is wait and see what happens in this process and pray we get a healthy baby in 2011! I feel very relieved that something was found but, at the same time I also feel a little cheated that I am not normal like everyone else. As always, I am sure this will continue to be an emotional roller coaster but at least I do not have to wait any longer for an answer as to why not me?
Thank you all for your support in this process. I promise to keep blogging as I begin this next chapter in my fertility journey and attempting to conceive Baby Cary.

Much Love,
Ash